Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
