after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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