They should really pass out barf bags in church
Acid is not a monday night drug
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
