when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
