it glows. i had to have it.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
