im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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