Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
