My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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