I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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