I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
