why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
