you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
