Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Damn victory sex feels great
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
