My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
