Well douche your snatch and let's go!
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
