You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
