sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
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