Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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