New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
