Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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