she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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