like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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