We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
