My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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