It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
