she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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