Your face is a jimmy john
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
