How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
