are you still at the devil's house?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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