ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
