gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
