What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize