I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
