I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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