i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
