Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She needs sedatives and a leash
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Randomize
