sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
