I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
