Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My first STD was from a foam party
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize