ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
