How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
