Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
no you cant smoke seaweed
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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