the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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