if you like me you must not know who I am
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize