Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
