I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We're too hungover to prance.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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