Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
