I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
