One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
