Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
