In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
