You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize