the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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