I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
