1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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