No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
