I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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