oh god the rape fog is back!
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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