Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
