Where is the hickey?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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