Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
